I Wish I Was Straight Forward (Like Kate Nash)

Sometimes I just wanna say what’s on my mind,
But I don’t, so I write.
And every time you’re upset I laugh,
And you take it offensive so we fight.
I want to tell the world to fuck off,
But I don’t, so I sing.
Summer only comes once a year,
And I want more than just a fling.
The thoughts inside my head are buzzing,
They want out so bad.
I like to dress the way I do,
And I know that it’s no fad.
Sometimes I wish I was kind of different,
I wish I was straight forward like Kate Nash.
I’d say what’s begging to get out,
I’d talk, not write, and it’d be out in a flash.
I wish I could tell the world to fuck off because everyone has evil in them and no one ever puts it to good use. I wish we could just all get along or at least pretend we do and smile. But we can’t. So I keep to myself in my own little world. I WANT TO BE HAPPY! I want to love and be loved. I wish I wasn’t a horrible person, I could lie and say I’m not… but then I’d be lying. And lying is bad. I just wish I was fucking straight forward. I wish I could look the one I love in the eye and just tell him. Tell him how much he means to me and if I were to lose him my heart would deflate and my spirit would be crushed. But I'm afraid that if I tell him I'd lose him. I'm afraid to bring that subject up. I don't think he would listen or want to even understand. I don't think he loves me that way anymore... I wish I could tell my bestfriend that she means the world to me and without her I’d be nothing. I'd lose my mind. I'd go crazy. I wouldn't be myself. I wish I could tell my family that I’m sorry for being such a disappointment. I wish I could tell myself that. I wish I could cry for hours. I just want the pain to go away. But I hate looking weak. Oh no, no no no. I must not look weak. I am who I am and I wish that I wasn’t. But you mustn’t know. No one must know. So I keep to myself and let my own secrets lie in my dark little heart. Damn. Fuck. Shit. I like to cuss. I don’t know how or why, but it makes me feel better. God makes me feel better. Writing makes me feel better. Screaming makes me feel better. YOU MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. If only I were straight forward...