I Wish I Was Straight Forward (Like Kate Nash)

Sometimes I just wanna say what’s on my mind,
But I don’t, so I write.
And every time you’re upset I laugh,
And you take it offensive so we fight.
I want to tell the world to fuck off,
But I don’t, so I sing.
Summer only comes once a year,
And I want more than just a fling.
The thoughts inside my head are buzzing,
They want out so bad.
I like to dress the way I do,
And I know that it’s no fad.
Sometimes I wish I was kind of different,
I wish I was straight forward like Kate Nash.
I’d say what’s begging to get out,
I’d talk, not write, and it’d be out in a flash.
I wish I could tell the world to fuck off because everyone has evil in them and no one ever puts it to good use. I wish we could just all get along or at least pretend we do and smile. But we can’t. So I keep to myself in my own little world. I WANT TO BE HAPPY! I want to love and be loved. I wish I wasn’t a horrible person, I could lie and say I’m not… but then I’d be lying. And lying is bad. I just wish I was fucking straight forward. I wish I could look the one I love in the eye and just tell him. Tell him how much he means to me and if I were to lose him my heart would deflate and my spirit would be crushed. But I'm afraid that if I tell him I'd lose him. I'm afraid to bring that subject up. I don't think he would listen or want to even understand. I don't think he loves me that way anymore... I wish I could tell my bestfriend that she means the world to me and without her I’d be nothing. I'd lose my mind. I'd go crazy. I wouldn't be myself. I wish I could tell my family that I’m sorry for being such a disappointment. I wish I could tell myself that. I wish I could cry for hours. I just want the pain to go away. But I hate looking weak. Oh no, no no no. I must not look weak. I am who I am and I wish that I wasn’t. But you mustn’t know. No one must know. So I keep to myself and let my own secrets lie in my dark little heart. Damn. Fuck. Shit. I like to cuss. I don’t know how or why, but it makes me feel better. God makes me feel better. Writing makes me feel better. Screaming makes me feel better. YOU MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. If only I were straight forward...

One + One = Two

I can't, I can't, I can't,
I need you to decide.
I believe that together as one,
We can conquer and divide.
This is all of me,
I'm not who you think I am.
Then you know what?
WHATEVER! Like seriously, I'm no scam.
How can I be what you want,
When you don't even know?
You are who I want, who I've waited for,
But you're confused and it shows.
It's like what we learned in school,
One plus one equals two.
Two colors mixed equals purple,
Take out the red and you're left with the blue.
I fancy friends in black and white,
I like things that are simple.
Ooo and when you smile, I melt,
I love your cute little dimple.
People are like articles of clothing,
You only pick the best.
And when wear and tear occurs,
Only the true and tough pass the test.
Life happens as it does,
There's no need to question why.
We all live to see another day,
And when it's our turn we all go out and die.

I Want to Be Completely Honest and Tell You That I Don't Really Know How I Feel Anymore, All I Do Know Is That I Love You With Everything I Have

You know that jacket you gave me?
I like it oh so very much.
I wear it to bed every night,
And I dream of your touch.
I can feel you there with me,
It's like you never left at all.
And when I close my eyes,
I can ever hear your voice call.
I can feel your arms around me,
And the softness of your hair.
It's like you're here holding me,
Tonight I don't care that life's not fair.
I can feel your breath on my neck,
It tingles from my head to my toes.
You give me feelings that I can't explain,
And I hope that they show.
Your kisses are electrifying
Your eyes pierce straight through my soul.
I love you with everything I have,
And I let it take it's toll.
I want you here with me,
I want you here now.
Be mine and just love me,
To the past we'll say ciao.
I love you, I love you, I love you.
God, just the thought of you makes me smile.
Grab my hand, kiss my lips, hold me tight,
And stay with me for a little while.

The Way I Love You Until I Cry

Lalalalala,
Is the song in my head.
You're always my favorite tune,
As I slip off to bed.
If only I could tell you everything,
I'm only a boy of sixteen.
Every smile you give makes my heart stop,
And the whole world seems so mean.
Can I be completely honest?
I miss the way we kiss.
I miss the way we were one,
I hate that it's you I miss.
I stay awake every night,
And I beat myself up over you.
The way I love you until I cry,
I just don't know what to do.
You knock me up off my feet,
Yesterday is nothing but history.
We have our whole lives to find where we're headed,
Tomorrow is nothing but a mystery.
Just please don't leave me here,
Let's live in the day and create something new.
My God if I could only say,
I'm holding every breath for you.

I Need, I Want, I Have To Have

I wish this was one of those stories,
That begin with 'once upon a time'.
But baby this is no fairytale,
So don't tell me that you're fine.
Well you stole my heart,
And I don't want it back.
Because if it was mine again,
It'd be you that I'd lack.
How can you turn and walk away,
And expect me to understand?
I'm shattered like broken glass,
Each piece happened by your hand.
I know things seem to get hard,
But we can never give up on what's true.
I've walked this world for years,
And I've found what I've been missing... you.
I never know if the message is clear,
But I always hope you get the clue.
I need, I want, I have to have,
My other half, I love you.

Maybe I'm A Little Bit Over My Head

Summer nights are always the best,
Maybe I'm a little bit over my head.
I let my mind wonder and it's always to you,
As I lay in the dark tucked into my bed.
Here the monsters can't get me,
The only one here though is heartbreak.
But when you can pretend that you're okay,
Heartbreak seems so far away and so fake.
I've slowly come to realize,
That I can't live my life away from you.
Just the thought of you gone forever,
Makes me sigh and feel so blue.
I don't think that will ever happen,
Actually I can guarantee that it won't take place.
Because you might not want to admit it,
But I can see love written all over your face.
I wish you could see how much you mean to me,
And how much I really do love your company in my heart.
I wish you could see how much I die inside,
Whenever we are constantly apart.
So please don't make this harder than it is,
Tell me everything I want and need to hear.
I can't keep handling this loneliness by myself,
Without you I'll slowly disappear I fear.

I Need You and Such

Am I still the boy you fell in love with?
I really need to know.
If I am then I'm baffled,
Why ever did you have to go?
I never talk with my heart,
It's always with my mind.
The thoughts that sound in there,
Sometimes aren't too kind.
I think things are getting better,
I miss you way too much.
Please, oh please come back,
I need you and such.
I always wonder what you think,
Whenever you read what I write.
Do you think me pathetic?
Should I just give up this fight?
I always fight my demons on a daily basis,
I could always do the same for you.
My strength is enough for us both,
You just have to do what you do.
So just put a little of our love,
Straight back into your heart.
And let's go back to the two souls,
That were inseparable from the start.

That's What I Want To Know

I wish I knew what you were thinking,
I wish I knew what went on in your mind.
I wish I could pick it apart,
And see what I could find.
Many questions I'd like to ask,
Many that will never be said.
Because keeping my lips sealed,
Is what'll keep it all in my head.
Now I don't want to let you down,
Never do I want to disappoint you.
I fear that's what's happening,
And I have no clue what to do.
I just want to know simple things,
I'm just too scared to ask.
I'm afraid that you will leave,
It's just an effortless task.
DOYOULOVEME?!
That's what I want to know.
AMITHEONEYOUWANT?!
That's what I want to know.
WHEREAREWEGOING?!
That's what I want to know.
WILLYOULEAVEME?!
That's what I want to know.
To many thoughts run through my head,
I'm pretty damn sure I'm going completely crazy.
I can't even see what's in my mind,
My vision has gone so effin' hazy.
I JUST WANT TO SHOUT,
Because nothing is ever good enough.
Can you hear the pain?
I think I'll be able to be tough.

You're Kind of, Basically, Pretty Much, Sort of, Always On My Mind

The thunder comes,
And I'm all alone.
The lighting flashes,
Everything is shown.
If I ever become blind,
You're the one thing my eyes would miss.
And if I had to choose one person,
You'd be the last I kiss.
I always count my prayers,
I always thank God above.
You're the best wish he's granted,
And graced me with your love.
You're kind of, basically, pretty much,
Sort of, always on my mind.
And when your fingers fit perfectly with mine,
I realize we're two people of the same kind.
So I lie awake at night missing you,
Wondering if you ever think of me.
And when the stars fall down,
We'll know this is meant to be.

I'll CUNxTuesday

You know I never like shaving,
I love designer things.
I wish I could be your angel,
And we could fly away on my wings.
Ke$ha is one of my heroes,
I'll CUNxTuesday.
I don't need any of your shit,
I can do things my own way.
Sometimes I want to apologize,
For being the one you don't love.
But I really think I am,
Whenever push comes to shove.
You're driving me crazy,
Because you're always on my mind.
Like a precious shell on the beach,
You're a treasure to find.
So take my hand one last time,
You can be mine tonight.
And when you're surrounded by darkness,
I'll be there to be your light.

Stay, I Missed You

Don't you hate when you feel,
The feeling you're incomplete?
I never see what I saw in you,
In all the faces I meet.
Scattered across the path of life,
Summer's coming to an end.
All the memories flood back,
Along with all the scars to mend.
But nothing ever hurts that bad,
When in the long run you're merry happy.
It's the feeling inside you give me,
That turns my heart all sappy.
You've carved my soul,
And you've changed my life.
I don't know how you did it,
But you made me fall in love twice.
Now that you're not here,
I don't really know what to do.
And when you get back you're mine,
Stay, I missed you.

I'm Only Human

I kind of like the sky,
It's such a pretty blue.
But I much prefer the night,
Where all the lies become true.
The day time shows everything,
Lies, pain, scars, and fear.
While the night time shrouds your vision,
To keep you content without a tear.
I much prefer love over heartbreak,
But I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all.
I love when winter freezes over the world,
While everything looks dead in the fall.
I think walks are quite lovely,
And storms feel so strong.
The time before the rain,
When danger doesn't feel wrong.
I'm not a weak person,
I tend to keep to myself.
I hold everything in,
And keep it on my shelf.
But with you I feel so different,
So different and free.
With you I feel special,
So special and me.
My heart pumps blood throughout my body,
I live each day as a God granted miracle.
And sometimes I laugh at my poetry,
Because it seems eerily lyrical.
I do make mistakes,
What do you want me to say?
I'm no where near perfect,
I'm only human and I like it that way.

We Sang The Same Tune

I sit back and reminisce,
Remember last June?
Our love was hard to beat,
We even sang the same tune.
But I've come to realize,
Love never lasts that long.
It's how we react to disaster,
That makes us strong.
The sparkle in your eye,
The way I make you feel.
Words of emotion were never exchanged,
But we knew it was real.
Friends, oh best friends,
We got another today.
Our lives bent and reconnected,
We love in a different way.
Life is good,
And God is great.
Believe and hope,
That this is fate.
Now come get closer,
I miss your warm embrace.
In my arms,
Will always be your place.

The World I Live In

Baby powder falls from the sky,
As you disappear from my head.
Pancakes are everywhere,
Kitty cat eyes from my bed.
The moon, it shines down,
The lollipop in your mouth.
People always leave,
But they never run south.
Take back those words,
Bubbles blowing everywhere.
Now baby it's all gone,
And the clothes begin to tear.
Shiney shiney diamonds,
The crystal chunk you call a heart.
Monsters are invading,
Clouds above begin to part.
Paint splatters on the piano,
I didn't want to do it.
Key after key turns in the door,
And all I needed was a hit.
The music is blaring,
I'm wondering right though.
Where's the purpose?
Everything is blue.
This is the world I live in,
I stand in the light.
But nothing ever makes sense here,
I laugh into the ongoing night.

What's Up With Tuesdays, Stephen?

Hey Stephen,
I have a question for you.
Is this what you call love?
Is this true?
I can't stand Mondays,
Why even try?
It's Tuesdays I'm after,
But I don't know why.
It's a mysterious feeling,
But I know it's right.
I'm in love with Stephen on a Tuesday,
I've finally seen the light.
I never see what singers see,
When they write about these two.
Stephen, Tuesdays, love,
Everyone get a clue.
It's a complicated thing,
So never ask.
It's a secret meaning,
With a simple task.
It defines time and logic,
I sit here and contemplate.
What's up with Tuesdays, Stephen?
I think it's just fate.

You Make Everything Better

Do you believe in soulmates,
Or even other halves?
You're the love of my life,
You make me smile with added laughs.
For once in my life,
I can finally say I win.
It's taken sixteen years,
But I've found my twin.
You make everything better,
Whenever I'm alone and down.
You're the bestfriend I could ask for,
Together we'll tear up the town.
Whenever I think of you,
You give the angels somber wings.
You're my mirror image,
Just different and better at certain things.
But as we grow up,
I hope we never grow apart.
You're what keeps me going,
What fuels my heart.
I always thank God,
For sending you from above.
He gave me that extra shove,
And he showed me your love.
I could never have asked for anyone better,
You get me like no one else can.
And no matter what in life,
I'll always be your biggest fan.

Broken Hearts and Shattered Dreams

Once upon a time,
I once felt loved.
It shined like the sun,
And fell from above.
But that once upon a time,
Never got a happy ending.
Broken hearts and shattered dreams,
Neither of us truly comprehending.
And as the light disappears,
I fade into the night.
Deep, dark, dangerous,
I give into the fight.
I'm no longer wanted,
No one ever needs me.
A pathetic demented soul,
All it needs to be is free.
If I go with that,
I'd be considered a liar.
All I want is love,
To set my heart on fire.
But it won't be long,
When the sun rises next dawn.
No one will ever miss me,
And I'll be completely gone.

I'll Go To Sleep and I'll Cry

You know the feeling of feeling alone,
All by yourself in this God forsaken town?
I walk the streets alone and cold,
The night time clouds cover my frown.
I don't want to feel like this,
I don't want to be alone anymore.
Everyone has left me,
And I'm dead to the core.
I'm waiting for someone,
I've been waiting here for you.
But now I'm lost and can't find my way,
I wish I could only get a clue.
So tonight as I lay my head down,
I'll go to sleep and I'll cry.
No one ever really wants me,
So why even try?

I Need A New Face

I wanna live my life,
I wish I was older.
I wanna get married,
And live somewhere colder.
I want to be with the one I love,
Happily say "I do".
Be somewhere else, someone else,
And start over new.
My heart always deceives me,
I need a new face.
May I quit now?
I'm tired of this race.
My feet are way too big,
They perfectly match my heart.
I trust to easily,
I love from the start.
I wanna wear a ring,
Visible on my left ring finger.
I want to be in love,
And I want to let it linger.
Take my breath away,
Breathe it in and push it out.
Hold tight to me,
Show me what it's all about.
Winter comes,
We'll build a fire.
Summer arrives,
In the shade we'll expire.
With you I'll smile and grow old,
Because forever and always never tasted so sweet.
Life is like a dance,
And together we create our own beat.

You'll Be There Too

I'm in love with my bestfriend,
We're bestfriends because we broke up.
But I guess I can't be picky,
When drawing from life's cup.
I can pretend to be okay,
As long as I keep going.
One foot in front of the other,
My tears never showing.
Paint on my smile,
I'll always be here for you.
Through life's issues,
I know you'll be there too.
Fuck I love you,
That'll never go away.
I'll make sure you know it, feel it,
Ever single day.

I'll Be Your Bestfriend

You don't want me to go,
But you can't handle reality.
You no longer wanted us,
So you set me free.
Our love was unexpected,
For you it was unaccepted.
It was never fully experienced,
And that's how we left it.
Unresolved I won't go,
Even though it hurts inside.
And whenever you need me,
I'll open my arms wide.
I want to be your warm embrace,
The love you feel when you're down.
I'll be your bestfriend,
Because it hurts to see you frown.
I won't ever leave you,
I believe in all kinds of love.
Without you I'll be drowning in this sea,
And I'll never make it above.
So give me that smile I love so much,
Tell me everything will be alright.
I just want to feel your touch,
Before we fade into the night.

FckShtUp

Go ahead and waste your life away,
While I pretend to care.
You should really get over yourself,
Life is never fair.
You learn, you live, you die,
I learned to never love.
I lived to never tell a lie.
I die and rise above.
I always like to look at life,
On the brighter side.
But when you do what you do,
It opens my eyes wide.
I like to watch the water run,
And fill up half the cup.
But right now it's half empty,
So lets fuck shit up.
For tonight I'll forget,
Of all the stress and the pain.
Life happens hard and fast,
And always leaves a strain.

Tell Me How I Taste

When your lips touch his,
Tell me how I taste.
I hope you both like leftovers,
'Cause y'all were such a waste.
Now don't tell me I don't understand,
When all you are is a whore.
Your appetite is never satisfied,
All you want is more.
You make me laugh in disgust,
You've lost all of my respect.
I'll just tell all my friends you're GAY,
What more do you expect?
Now don't ever test my anger,
That's never the wisest choice.
I hold every one of your lies,
Your secrets I will voice.
I'm just tired of all this bullshit,
I'm glad you're out of my life.
I'll find someone better,
Who won't stab my back with a knife.
So bitches get to steppin',
I'll find someone with a bigger dick.
Everytime I see your faces,
It just makes my stomach sick.
I know revenge is a nasty thing,
But it's something I will do.
Sluts are never winners,
I hope you'll get the clue.

Love Is Strong

You can't kick me down,
When I'm already on the floor.
I run my fingers through my hair,
As I walk out the door.
It's just who I am,
You can't ever stop me.
If you really do love it,
Then I suggest you set it free.
I like to wear blue plaid,
And text way too much.
I always look like a mess,
I can't help it and such.
You say love is all you want,
Well I want to be happy too.
You always make me smile,
Like the warm sun and summer blue.
Dancing beneath the stars,
Watching movies on a Sunday night.
Chasing me down the beach,
And kissing in the rain feels right.
Show me where you come from,
And everything you are.
I'll always make my wish,
'Cause you're my shooting star.

Love Me Forever & Never

I don't know what to think,
Whenever you come and go.
Should I love you?
Are you friend or foe?
You broke my heart,
And then ran away.
You tell me all this shit,
What do you expect me to say?
Some days I want to kill you,
Other I just want to hate.
FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU,
It's just a little too late.
I don't know what to do,
When you're too weak.
What the hell do I do,
When I'm not what you seek?
You told me once before,
That you loved me at one time.
When did it ever stop,
When did you cross that line.
I love how you took it back,
I love how I never hear it.
I'm still here for you,
Even though you put me through shit.
I don't want to leave you,
I'm scared I'll lose you forever.
But I still don't know what to do,
When you love me for forever & never.
So point me where I need to go,
Tell me what you want me to do.
Do you want me to stay or leave?
Tell me and give me some kind of clue.

Believe We'll Go Far

You frustrate me,
You complicate me.
You open my eyes wide,
And you make me see.
You say I don't listen,
That I don't look hard enough.
What if I say I'm scared,
And I'm not that tough?
I know that I like you,
'Cause when you're gone I miss you.
But I hide my heart in fear,
I'm scared... it's true.
You cut me open,
You make me bleed.
You're gentle embrace,
Is really all I need.
I'll go with you now,
And look pass this scar.
I trust with my heart,
And hope... believe we'll go far.

Click, Click, Snap

I like to look at the pictures,
And count up the days.
You were always picture perfect,
In so many ways.
I was always what you needed,
I was always what you wanted.
But you let life get the best of you,
I was never what you flaunted.
I was a secret in hiding,
To the world we always lied.
Love and life was a maze,
But we always tried.
The pictures show blinded beauty,
As they all hit the ground.
All the smiles, laughs, and love,
All the memories float around.
To all the past loves,
I have something for you.
Just enjoy the show,
And always stay true.
Take many a picture,
They say they last longer.
Click, click, snap,
The memories grow stronger.

Bleached Clothes and Red Eyes

Nothing ever counts,
Unless you lay it on the line.
Could you look me in the eye,
Take my hand and tell me that you're fine?
Could you tell me you're happy,
And mean it with every piece of your heart?
Because you know I've always been there,
Been here for you since the start.
Is parting what you do best?
Breaking hearts and saying goodbye.
Bleached clothes and red eyes,
You can never say I didn't try.
I want to be more than friends,
So let's just make out.
But if it can't be,
Then what's it all about?
I want to be there when you wake up,
Be the first thing you see.
I'll be there 'till the end,
Even if there's no you and me.

You'll Always be My Nemo

I know that there are lots of other fish in the sea,
But you’ll always be my Nemo.
The one I've been looking for,
So please never ever go.
Dancing together as one,
Beneath the summer sky.
You light up my world,
No need to ask why.
When our lips collide,
It's like a piece of Heaven.
You were always my wish,
At eleven:eleven.
But you whisper in the dark,
That you must leave.
You'll be back tomorrow,
If only I believe.
You disappear sweetly,
And my eyes open wide.
The ugly truth sinks in,
As my heart starts to divide.
Nothing was real,
It was all but a dream.
I miss you too much,
I'm crazy it must seem.
So I go throughout my day,
Just waiting for the night.
Where I can pretend I'm ok,
And give into this horrid fight.

No Matter What I Like

I have insomnia,
What can I say?
I spend my nights writing,
I like it that way.
I like white chocolate mochas,
And I like the color blue.
I like when it storms,
But most importantly, I like you.
I like the way cats feel,
I like morning smiles.
I like meaningful texts,
And the song "A Thousand Miles".
I like holding hands,
I like running races.
I like sunflowers,
And I like your cute faces.
But no matter what I like,
It always comes back to you.
I like that you're always on my mind,
And I like the fact it's true.

Operation Free Wille (#ofw)

God put you here,
So you're here for a reason.
I love your smile, it's priceless,
But it comes and goes with the season.
You may love who you want,
Now don't be silly.
We'll free you eventually,
With 'Operation Free Wille'.
I need to fill your heart beat,
Please don't be so down.
I'll always be around,
So please never frown.
I'll promise you this,
Every little thing will be ok.
Every love is acceptable,
You'll soon find your way.
But when you're lost,
I will lead the way.
I love you unconditionally,
And this is how it'll stay.

And Damn I'm Headstrong

I don't want to hate,
But I do want to love.
Sparks of light,
Fly down from above.
You're no friend of mine,
Though I know you all too well.
What the hell is happening?
Only time can tell.
Chocolate and sex,
Name your drug.
What are you looking at?
Don't act so smug.
Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple,
That's so gay.
Man may not lay with man,
Though I go both way.
I'm wrong, I'm right,
A sinner and a saint.
Lock all your doors,
Your sons I will taint.
I love God,
Don't get me wrong.
But this is my life,
And damn I'm headstrong.

This Constant Hot Mess

I'm so lost yet found,
Where to begin?
In this war of love,
No one ever seems to win.
For the past few weeks,
I've been this constant hot mess.
I never got over you,
I really must confess.
What I always wonder,
Is do you still love me?
Do you ever sit and think,
Of how it could be?
STOP.
There's really no time for this,
I really must go.
So I paint on this smile,
And put on this shitty show.
You never think of me,
I never cross your mind.
You probably no longer love me,
I'm the worst you could find.
But always know,
I do love you.
I'm still sitting here waiting,
If only you knew.

For All Those If's In Life

Maybe if you had a heart,
Big enough to love mine.
Then maybe one day,
We'd be just fine.
Maybe if your feet,
Could fit into my shoes.
You would see why,
I'm here singing the blues.
Maybe if your mind,
Wasn't always so small.
I'd stand without a scar,
And you wouldn't be so tall.
Maybe if you weren't so blind,
You'd see what we were all about.
But you never use your eyes,
So I always have to shout.
But for all those if's in life,
There's always a silver lining.
Behind the dark clouds,
Where the sun is always shining.