I Wish I Was Straight Forward (Like Kate Nash)

Sometimes I just wanna say what’s on my mind,
But I don’t, so I write.
And every time you’re upset I laugh,
And you take it offensive so we fight.
I want to tell the world to fuck off,
But I don’t, so I sing.
Summer only comes once a year,
And I want more than just a fling.
The thoughts inside my head are buzzing,
They want out so bad.
I like to dress the way I do,
And I know that it’s no fad.
Sometimes I wish I was kind of different,
I wish I was straight forward like Kate Nash.
I’d say what’s begging to get out,
I’d talk, not write, and it’d be out in a flash.
I wish I could tell the world to fuck off because everyone has evil in them and no one ever puts it to good use. I wish we could just all get along or at least pretend we do and smile. But we can’t. So I keep to myself in my own little world. I WANT TO BE HAPPY! I want to love and be loved. I wish I wasn’t a horrible person, I could lie and say I’m not… but then I’d be lying. And lying is bad. I just wish I was fucking straight forward. I wish I could look the one I love in the eye and just tell him. Tell him how much he means to me and if I were to lose him my heart would deflate and my spirit would be crushed. But I'm afraid that if I tell him I'd lose him. I'm afraid to bring that subject up. I don't think he would listen or want to even understand. I don't think he loves me that way anymore... I wish I could tell my bestfriend that she means the world to me and without her I’d be nothing. I'd lose my mind. I'd go crazy. I wouldn't be myself. I wish I could tell my family that I’m sorry for being such a disappointment. I wish I could tell myself that. I wish I could cry for hours. I just want the pain to go away. But I hate looking weak. Oh no, no no no. I must not look weak. I am who I am and I wish that I wasn’t. But you mustn’t know. No one must know. So I keep to myself and let my own secrets lie in my dark little heart. Damn. Fuck. Shit. I like to cuss. I don’t know how or why, but it makes me feel better. God makes me feel better. Writing makes me feel better. Screaming makes me feel better. YOU MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. If only I were straight forward...

One + One = Two

I can't, I can't, I can't,
I need you to decide.
I believe that together as one,
We can conquer and divide.
This is all of me,
I'm not who you think I am.
Then you know what?
WHATEVER! Like seriously, I'm no scam.
How can I be what you want,
When you don't even know?
You are who I want, who I've waited for,
But you're confused and it shows.
It's like what we learned in school,
One plus one equals two.
Two colors mixed equals purple,
Take out the red and you're left with the blue.
I fancy friends in black and white,
I like things that are simple.
Ooo and when you smile, I melt,
I love your cute little dimple.
People are like articles of clothing,
You only pick the best.
And when wear and tear occurs,
Only the true and tough pass the test.
Life happens as it does,
There's no need to question why.
We all live to see another day,
And when it's our turn we all go out and die.

I Want to Be Completely Honest and Tell You That I Don't Really Know How I Feel Anymore, All I Do Know Is That I Love You With Everything I Have

You know that jacket you gave me?
I like it oh so very much.
I wear it to bed every night,
And I dream of your touch.
I can feel you there with me,
It's like you never left at all.
And when I close my eyes,
I can ever hear your voice call.
I can feel your arms around me,
And the softness of your hair.
It's like you're here holding me,
Tonight I don't care that life's not fair.
I can feel your breath on my neck,
It tingles from my head to my toes.
You give me feelings that I can't explain,
And I hope that they show.
Your kisses are electrifying
Your eyes pierce straight through my soul.
I love you with everything I have,
And I let it take it's toll.
I want you here with me,
I want you here now.
Be mine and just love me,
To the past we'll say ciao.
I love you, I love you, I love you.
God, just the thought of you makes me smile.
Grab my hand, kiss my lips, hold me tight,
And stay with me for a little while.

The Way I Love You Until I Cry

Lalalalala,
Is the song in my head.
You're always my favorite tune,
As I slip off to bed.
If only I could tell you everything,
I'm only a boy of sixteen.
Every smile you give makes my heart stop,
And the whole world seems so mean.
Can I be completely honest?
I miss the way we kiss.
I miss the way we were one,
I hate that it's you I miss.
I stay awake every night,
And I beat myself up over you.
The way I love you until I cry,
I just don't know what to do.
You knock me up off my feet,
Yesterday is nothing but history.
We have our whole lives to find where we're headed,
Tomorrow is nothing but a mystery.
Just please don't leave me here,
Let's live in the day and create something new.
My God if I could only say,
I'm holding every breath for you.

I Need, I Want, I Have To Have

I wish this was one of those stories,
That begin with 'once upon a time'.
But baby this is no fairytale,
So don't tell me that you're fine.
Well you stole my heart,
And I don't want it back.
Because if it was mine again,
It'd be you that I'd lack.
How can you turn and walk away,
And expect me to understand?
I'm shattered like broken glass,
Each piece happened by your hand.
I know things seem to get hard,
But we can never give up on what's true.
I've walked this world for years,
And I've found what I've been missing... you.
I never know if the message is clear,
But I always hope you get the clue.
I need, I want, I have to have,
My other half, I love you.

Maybe I'm A Little Bit Over My Head

Summer nights are always the best,
Maybe I'm a little bit over my head.
I let my mind wonder and it's always to you,
As I lay in the dark tucked into my bed.
Here the monsters can't get me,
The only one here though is heartbreak.
But when you can pretend that you're okay,
Heartbreak seems so far away and so fake.
I've slowly come to realize,
That I can't live my life away from you.
Just the thought of you gone forever,
Makes me sigh and feel so blue.
I don't think that will ever happen,
Actually I can guarantee that it won't take place.
Because you might not want to admit it,
But I can see love written all over your face.
I wish you could see how much you mean to me,
And how much I really do love your company in my heart.
I wish you could see how much I die inside,
Whenever we are constantly apart.
So please don't make this harder than it is,
Tell me everything I want and need to hear.
I can't keep handling this loneliness by myself,
Without you I'll slowly disappear I fear.

I Need You and Such

Am I still the boy you fell in love with?
I really need to know.
If I am then I'm baffled,
Why ever did you have to go?
I never talk with my heart,
It's always with my mind.
The thoughts that sound in there,
Sometimes aren't too kind.
I think things are getting better,
I miss you way too much.
Please, oh please come back,
I need you and such.
I always wonder what you think,
Whenever you read what I write.
Do you think me pathetic?
Should I just give up this fight?
I always fight my demons on a daily basis,
I could always do the same for you.
My strength is enough for us both,
You just have to do what you do.
So just put a little of our love,
Straight back into your heart.
And let's go back to the two souls,
That were inseparable from the start.